I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
