i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
whose ass print is on the piano?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
