Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
After last night, I could never be a politician.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize