How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize