I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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