She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
