Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
