is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the night ended with taco bell and tears
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
