he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
