I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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