you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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