Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
