yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
