why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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