i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
