there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
