Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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