you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
