Say something about gay babies.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
