I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
