You just made me feel so damn special
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
