Screwed.edu
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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