Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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