roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize