how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
