He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
