Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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