At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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