Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
