I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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