drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
