he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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