In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
