Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
