If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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