You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
