I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
