So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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