I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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