absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i think im in europe. pls send help
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