Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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