But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
