If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I wish there were birth control emojis
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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