We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
