i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
