My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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