yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
