Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
