I wish I only lived at night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize