just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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