spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
