Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You need a sexual gate keeper
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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