I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
