what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize