This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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