he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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