just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
