i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
