with your own penis?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
