I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
