we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
