Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
