Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
