I skipped work to stalk him.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
