Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize