I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
