First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
