He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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