Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
