I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
