We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
