just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
